Service Desk Humor: 4 things IT professionals really want to say to their end-users

IT professionals are knowledgeable, kind, accommodating, and love helping their end-users. Well… most of the time.

IT professionals are only human. And sometimes, all they want is to be brutally honest.

Here are four things IT professionals really want to say (but, lucky for their end-users, they don’t).

1. “I have better things to do.”

Customer is king. That’s something IT professionals live and breathe by. But let’s be honest: sometimes, your end-users can be kind of demanding. (And no wonder, with customer expectations at an all-time high due to the consumerization of IT.)

So, when end-user X (let’s call her Karen for now) emails you about an issue with her headset as well as logging an incident, calling the service desk and walking by – all within 30 minutes of each other – you kind of want to tell her, “I have better things to do.”

Especially when it’s an all-hands-on-deck situation at the IT department because you’re dealing with major server downtime.

After all, urgency is based on priority – that is, your IT department’s priority, not Karen’s.

When incidents are sprouting up left and right, prioritizing the right incidents can get tricky though. But we have a solution. Download our Priority Matrix to find out how to better prioritize incidents in your organization (and keep Karen happy).

2. “Did you really think I wouldn't find out?”

Work laptops aren’t just used for work. Every IT professional knows this. They might not be very happy with it – for one, it massively increases the risk of cybersecurity attacks, which are already in overdrive due to remote working – but they know it happens.

So, when an end-user accidentally downloads a Trojan horse virus, you know it’s because they were using a dodgy application to watch the latest HBO series. Even though your end-user swears they didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.

All you really want to ask in this situation is: “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”

IT is always watching. And they prefer it when end-users are honest about what they did or didn’t do, just because it makes maintaining security that much easier.

IT professionals are only human. And sometimes, all they want is to be brutally honest.

3. “If only someone had created a knowledge item about this.”

“How do I request a new laptop?” “How do I connect to WiFi?” “How do I add a shared mailbox?”

IT professionals get these questions on a daily basis. And, if your IT department uses a knowledge base, you’ve probably already answered these questions in a knowledge item.

So, when one of your end-users walks up to the IT service desk with a question like this, you just want to say, “If only someone had created a knowledge item about this”, in your most sarcastic voice.

Of course, you don’t – you politely refer them to the knowledge item instead.

The reason you create knowledge items in the first place is to make your end-users’ life easier. But how do you make sure your end-users actually use them?

Remember: your end-users aren’t going to magically start using knowledge items – especially if they don’t even know they exist. Read this blog to find out how to write better knowledge items – and how to promote them.

4. “Am I being Punk’d?”

Sometimes, keeping a straight face at the IT service desk is pretty difficult. Some end-users are just so clueless when it comes to IT.

They “just aren’t good with computers” so they ask IT to investigate a “suspicious” pop-up, which turns out to be a Windows update. They think their desktop has died and gone to heaven, but simply forgot to turn the monitor on. Or they call the IT service desk to ask where the “any key” is, because the computer said to “press any key”.

When this happens, you kind of want to ask: “Am I being Punk’d?”

But then you remember that not everyone is as tech-savvy as you – and that’s also okay.

Sounds familiar?

We’re really curious about your experiences at the IT service desk. This is a safe space, so share your true feelings in the comments!